In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.
They tested him.
They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said,
"It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."
"That’s correct", said the boss.
Another glass.
"It’s red wine , cabernet, eight years old, a southwestern slope, oak barrels."
"Correct."
The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.
"It’s a blonde, 26 years old, pregnant in the third month.
And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll also tell who’s the father!"
Monday, November 29, 2010
Funny Story
Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".
Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had been in London for
honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both
started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one..
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued
with the ride. After a while, it happened again.
This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and
continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?" ..
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."
Husband:"That's it. We are happy ever after. "
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".
Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had been in London for
honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both
started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one..
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time". She again climbed the horse and continued
with the ride. After a while, it happened again.
This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and
continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?" ..
She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."
Husband:"That's it. We are happy ever after. "
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Before we give any criticism
Before we give any criticism
A young couple move into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hang the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said, "She doesn't know how to wash properly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap".
Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look! She has learned how to wash properly. I wonder who taught her this."
The husband said: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!"
And so it is with life: "What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something in the person we are about to judge."
A young couple move into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hang the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said, "She doesn't know how to wash properly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap".
Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look! She has learned how to wash properly. I wonder who taught her this."
The husband said: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!"
And so it is with life: "What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something in the person we are about to judge."
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Amazing Murder Mystery
At the 1994 Annual Awards dinner given for Forensic Science(AAFS), President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death.
Here is the story:
On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a 10-storey building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency.
As he fell past the ninth floor, his jump was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife.. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun! The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill subject ‘A’ but kills subject ‘B’ in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject ‘B.’
When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant, and both said that they thought the shotgun was not loaded. The old man said it was a long- standing habit of his to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore, the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple’s son loading the shotgun about 6 weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son’s financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.
Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn’t actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
Now for the exquisite twist…
Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother’s murder. This led him to jump off the 10 storey building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth storey window. The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself. So the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
A true story from Associated Press.
Here is the story:
On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a 10-storey building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency.
As he fell past the ninth floor, his jump was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife.. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun! The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill subject ‘A’ but kills subject ‘B’ in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject ‘B.’
When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant, and both said that they thought the shotgun was not loaded. The old man said it was a long- standing habit of his to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore, the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple’s son loading the shotgun about 6 weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son’s financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.
Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn’t actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
Now for the exquisite twist…
Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother’s murder. This led him to jump off the 10 storey building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth storey window. The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself. So the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
A true story from Associated Press.
Monday, November 8, 2010
An Amazing Love Story
An amazing Love Story
He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after
her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the
party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but
due to being polite, she promised.
He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after
her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the
party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but
due to being polite, she promised.
They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was
too
nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please,
let
me go home..... suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me
some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."
Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he
put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why
you
have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near
the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea,
just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty
coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my
hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While
saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.
That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can
tell
out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home,
has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about
her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice
talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
too
nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please,
let
me go home..... suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me
some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."
Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he
put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why
you
have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near
the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea,
just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty
coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my
hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While
saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.
That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can
tell
out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home,
has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about
her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice
talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets
all
her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was
such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty
coffee!
all
her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was
such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty
coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess
married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And,
every
time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she
knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My
dearest,
please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I
said
to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so
nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It
was hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be
the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times
in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to
lie
to you for anything..
Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like
the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty
coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for
anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my
whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you
and
have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee
again".
Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's
the taste of salty coffee?
It's sweet. She replied.
married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And,
every
time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she
knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My
dearest,
please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I
said
to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so
nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It
was hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be
the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times
in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to
lie
to you for anything..
Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like
the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty
coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for
anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my
whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you
and
have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee
again".
Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's
the taste of salty coffee?
It's sweet. She replied.
Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear
but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one
you like will leave you for the one they love.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he
cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's
her."
spare you the emotional stress.
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